


If Harry Potter was in Mean Girls - Oneshot

by hgls_YouTube



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-07
Updated: 2019-09-07
Packaged: 2020-10-11 11:53:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20545733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hgls_YouTube/pseuds/hgls_YouTube
Summary: Harry Potter has become Mean Girls! That means HP characters are taking the place of Regina, Cady, etc. Here’s the list:Harry Potter - Cady HeronDraco Malfoy - Regina GeorgeBlaise Zabini - Gretchen WienersGregory Goyle - Karen SmithHermione Granger - Janis IanRon Weasley - Damian somethingDaphne Greengrass - Aaron SamuelsGinny Weasley - Shane OmanThis takes place in the U.S. Credits to Zachary Smith on YouTube, and lets-a go!Link to the YouTube video- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQ5t7AO2gx0





	If Harry Potter was in Mean Girls - Oneshot

“Why don’t I know you?” Draco asked Harry when he called Harry to sit down at their lunch table.

“Um, ‘cause I’m new. I just moved here from aFRICA!” Harry said, being sassy as always.

“What?”

“I used to live in Africa, but now I live here, like it’s pretty simple.” Harry said, being completely normal.

“So you’ve actually never been to a real school before?” Draco said.

“No..”

“Shut up,” Draco began.

“‘Scuse me? Boy, who you talking to?”

“Shut up!”

“Boi, I ain’t even talking! You need to be quiet, close your mouth!” Harry said, annoyed.

“But, you’re like really handsome.” Draco added.

“Boy, you don’t need to lie; I’m over here looking like a whole double-decker biscuit.”

“You think you’re really handsome?”

“Draco, I just called myself a double-decker biscuit, what d’you mean, ‘do I agree?’ Boy, no I don’t!”

Draco rolled his eyes. “I love your bracelet.”

Harry looked down at his arm. “What- bracelet?! Are you- what?!”

“So fetch!” Blaise spoke up.

“What did the little one just say?” Harry chuckled.

“Oh, it’s like slang..” Everyone looked at him. “From.. England..”

“Have you ever been to England?” Harry asked.

“So,” The third person at the table; Gregory Goyle, Harry thought, said, “If you’re from Africa, why are you white?”

“Boy, you- uhm- oh god…” Harry looked over to where his new friends, Ron and Hermione, were sitting. “All up in my business,” Harry sighed. “I swear, they called me over here!” He insisted.

The trio of boys turned back to Harry. “We want to invite you to have lunch with us, every day, for the rest of the week.” Blaise said.

“I’m good!” Harry insisted. “I-I really don’t want to!”

“So, we’ll see you tomorrow!”

“So, no you won’t! All you’ll be seeing is some disappointment, ‘cause I ain’t showing up  _ nowhere _ !”

_______________________________________

“Draco, we need to talk to you,” Blaise said, as Goyle and himself sat down at their table.

“Oh, this is going to be good! Lemme get my teacup ready,” Goyle rolled his eyes at Harry, who was interested in how this would go.

“I.. Is butter a carb?” Draco asked Harry.

“Yes, yes it is, Draco.” Harry turned away and mumbled. “So stupid.”

“Draco, you’re wearing sweatpants. It’s Monday.”

“Hahah, Draco! Ohoho!” Harry giggled.

“..So?” Draco asked.

“So that’s against the rules, and you can’t sit with us.” Gregory concluded.

“Hehehehe! Bye bye now Draco!” Harry laughed even more.

“Whatever! Those rules aren’t real.” Draco said.

“They were real that day I wore a jacket!” Gregory said.

“‘Cause that jacket was disgusting!” Draco sneered.

“Damn Draco, you is so rude! Those sweatpants are disgusting too!” Draco looked personally offended by that.

“YOU CAN’T SIT WITH US!” Blaise exclaimed.

“Hehehe, SCORE!” Harry said.

“...”

“Sweatpants are all that fits me right now..”

_ You sad, hippo-looking fool.  _ Harry thought with disgust.

Draco bore his eyes into the side of Harry’s head and Harry absolutely flipped out. “Draco, don’t look at me like that! I see those Doritos and that cupcake right there, if you’re worried about your weight you need to put it down!”

“Fine,” Draco stood. “You can walk home, all of you.” Draco left, bumping into someone while walking out.

______________________________________

“Good job, Africa,” A girl said backstage to Harry and walked away.

“You totally have a crush on that girl,” Blaise said.

“Boy, no I don’t!”

“That is so, fetch!” He exclaimed.

“Blaise,” Draco spoke up. “Stop trying to make ‘fetch’ happen! It’s not going to happen!”

“Snatched!” Harry yelled. “DRAG HIM!”

______________________________________

“Why should Caesar get to stomp around, like a giant, while the rest of us  _ try not to _ get smushed under his big feet!”

_ Ooh, he is aaangry… _

“When did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody, huh-”

Harry took a sip from his water bottle.

“Because that’s not what Rome is about! We should totally just stab CAESAR!”

Harry finished taking a sip from his water bottle.

_______________________________________

“You know, she cheats on Aaron-” Blaise began

“Cheating on Aaron, yes continue on that boy, I’m trying to get my receipt!”

“Yes, every Thursday, she thinks he has SAT Prep but really, she’s hooking up with Ginny Weasley-” He kept ranting.

“Ginny Weasley..”

“-in the projection room above the auditorium!” Blaise finished.

“How do you spell that? Is it W-e-a-s-l-e-y? Auditorium Room, okay  _ tHAnk yoU. _ ”

“I never told anybody that because.. I am..  _ Such _ .. a good friend.”

_______________________________________

“I have this… friend, who is a new student this year..

“Oh  _ heeey! _ That’s me! Hey Hermione!”

“We thought it would be fun to mess up Draco Malfoy’s life.”

_ I know she is not finna exPOSE my arse! No ma’am I will drag you all the way to hELL _ !

Draco looked interested in this. “I made him pretend to be Draco’s friend and he would come over to my house and laugh about all the dumb stuff Draco said.”

_ OH no, oh no, oH NO. _

“Harry? You know my friend Harry.”

“ME!?”  _ Oh no.. _ “Ooh, not me guys, look at the pretty  _ sunset! _ ”

“He made out with Draco’s girlfriend and convinced her to break up with him!” Everyone gasped, either shock or gratitude that Draco was being taken down a notch.

Harry snorted. “ThaT i dId dO. ThAt, I dId dO tHAt, thAT’s mY bAd, yOU knOw, shE wAS a NicE kiSSeR DraCo! I snATCheD yOUr giRl uP anD I sAid, “bReaK uP wiTh thAT arse!”

Draco looked at Harry with pure fury in his eyes. “Oooohoohoho, you are looking  _ angrryyy _ , honey. You’re just looking so mAD! HAHA!”

______________________________________

“NO!” Draco screeched.

“Oh my god, you’s sounding like those monkeys I trained in Africa, you need to close your mouth!” Harry retorted.

“Do you know what everyone says about YOU?!” Harry shrugged. “They say you’re a homeschooled jungle freak who is a less hot version, of ME!”

“Boy, I’m looking at that two-set wig you got on there and I can already tell you are as cheap as ever, do not call me the less-hot version of you. You’s looking like a beat-up Ken doll, don’t talk to me like that-” Harry was just interrupted for the first time in his life.

“Yeah! So don’t try to act so  _ innocent _ ! You can take that fake apology, and shove it right up your hairy-AAH!” Draco was just then hit by a bus, which tells you never to interrupt Harry James Potter.. Ever.

“OH! HE juST GOT SNATCHED! SCORE!”

**Author's Note:**

> So.. Yeah! I got bored today and decided to do this..
> 
> You can't stop me.  
Link to the YouTube video- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQ5t7AO2gx0


End file.
